Complicated

Dear all,

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Now, let me just set out the prevailing situation more precisely before I delve deeper into what happened today.

I fancied the socks off Luke. I can’t really explain it, but I find him seriously attractive. We get on well and all that, but he’s always been quite passive in our friendship. I’m the one that organises things and so on. So recently, a month or two ago, I decided once and for all to stop wistfully daydreaming that one day Luke might get a grip and sweep me off my feet. No, I said to myself, just give up on it ever being anything more than a friendship. To be honest, the only reason I hung on so long is because Jack thought he probably liked me back. But evidently Jack was sadly mistaken.

So, as I said, last week I met Brian. Now, we did talk a lot, but I didn’t really notice it being any more than friendly chat. But then he goes and asks me to prom. And so the confusion starts – wow, does he actually like me or am I just reading way too much into this? I haven’t yet decided whether I like him or just like him.

Today, I went to the museum with Luke. We met just after lunch and, after the museum, he invited me to go and meet his friend Joshua. I said sure, why not, and so we did. His friend was very nice, but made three comments which got me thinking.

1. We were sitting in the pub and he said that Luke and I are like a married couple.
2. Luke and I went to the theatre together last summer, and we mentioned it and Joshua said “Ah yes, your first date.” I gave him an odd look.
3. Then when we were going home, Luke left us first and so Joshua and I were alone together for a while. We said how nice it was to finally meet each other. And he said “I’ve heard so much about you.” “Really?” “Yeah, Luke mentions you all the time.”

And I just don’t know if I’m over-analysing this or if he does have feelings for me and for some mad reason just hasn’t told me ever. I don’t want to put myself through more heartache for nothing but I don’t want to close my mind off to the possibility of dating him.

Plus I had an amazing daydream about us making out at prom on Saturday. *sigh* Maybe I should ask Joshua about this, but I feel awkward doing that.

Anyway.

Gossip Girl now.

Lots of love,
Wilhelm Scream.

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2 Comments

  1. Sunday, 24th May 2009 at 9:30 am

    […] and sat at tables. There were little placecards with our names on. I had Brian on one side and Luke on the other. You can see already that this would turn out to be an interesting evening. I can’t quite get […]

  2. Monday, 25th May 2009 at 2:54 pm

    […] may recall that I am currently tossed on the horns of a furious dilemma, which incidentally mentally sort of came to a head on Saturday […]


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