Abuse of a privilege

Dear all,

My general idiocy has reached new specific heights. My story comes in three parts.

1. This morning I decided that I’d post Luke his birthday present to end this irritating uncertainty about when or if we will meet up. So I put it in an envelope and put the envelope in the post box.

2. I realised I hadn’t put any stamps on it. I ran home and got stamps and then went back to the post box around the time of the advertised last collection. No sign of the postie, and it looked like he’d already been. So I ran to the local post office, presuming that’s where the letters would have been taken. It had been closed down. So I went home again, cursing myself.

3. I got my stamps again and wrote a note. “Dear postie,” it said. “I posted a letter this morning without any stamps on. I attach the correct postage to this note. Kindly stick the stamps onto the large brown envelope addressed to XXXXX. I apologise for the inconvenience and hope you can forgive my inattentiveness.” I put the stamps and note into the post box (by now it was ten minutes past the stated last collection time) and prayed.

I’m not sure whether to say anything to Luke about it. Because if I do say something and it turns out the postie did get my note and Luke’s present arrives without any trouble, I’ll look stupid. But if I don’t say anything and the postie got my note too late, then I’ll look both stupid and horrible, for making him pay postage plus £1 admin charge plus trekking to his local post office to get it. And it’s not exciting enough to be worth all that, frankly.

I am so spectacularly stupid. Good at exams, bad at life. That’s me. Argh.

Furthermore, I have somehow managed to arrange to have coffee one-on-one with two people I seriously don’t want to spend time alone with – one tomorrow and one a week today. This is awful. The first one will be dull but tolerable, although there will be little opportunity for escape. The second one will be torture but if I play my cards right I ought to be able to leave fairly early. I want to continue being friends with the first one, so see it as a kind of duty to go and have coffee with them. However, I would not be too upset if I were to give up all acquaintance with the second one. It’s not to say that the second one isn’t nice, but we do not seem to have an awful lot in common and he seems rather over eager to facebook me all the time. I have put it off as long as possible, but sometimes it just becomes cruel to dither any longer. I shall see how it goes, and if necessary I shall block him from facebook and MSN and so disappear off the face of his earth. How tedious.

Lots of love,
Wilhelm Scream.


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