Girl points

Dear all,

I feel so very apathetic about life right now. My first exam is in four days, but I can’t seem to get myself together to revise. Superficially, I am sure it’ll all turn out OK in the end. Deep down I am terrified I won’t get my grades. I keep running the numbers in my head – in three of my four subjects, I can get a C this year in the exams and still get an A overall. But they’re not much comfort.

It is just so hard to get up in the mornings nowadays. I wake up at around eight usually, an hour before my alarm goes off. I’m wide awake but I can’t bring myself to get up. I’m just thinking, “I haven’t got anything particular to do. I might as well stay in bed for five more minutes and finish thinking.” Then it’s half past ten and I’m still in bed. I’m not depressed. Far from it. I’m happy, but in a detached sort of way. I don’t feel the drive to do anything particular – instead, I’m fine just drifting round the house, surfing the net and watching DVDs.

The situation is very awkward. I can’t make myself work hard, but I also can’t give myself permission to relax. My revision plan has been abandoned completely but it’s still sitting above my desk for me to see all the time. I want it to be the 20th of June. All exams over and kickass things planned for that weekend. I’m so looking forward to it.

Unclutterer has a very timely article about this. I am usually at my most productive in the autumn term, when I’m typically rehearsing for a play as well as doing all my other extra-curriculars. Now that I have no routine and nothing particular to do, I’m just drifting. I’m a surfer, not a sailor, but I haven’t got any big waves.

I have also been thinking about man points and the female equivalent, woman points. I feel that current definitions of woman points are sadly lacking. I agree with many of the things that lose you woman points (which will henceforth be called “girl points” because it sounds better), but come on… waxing gives you girl points?? How unempowering! I think we need to come up with some proper things which get you girl points. I suggest they focus on self-respect.

For example:
+ Making the most of what you’ve got (in some way or another)
+ Succeeding in a male-dominated field
+ Staying sober

– Begging
– Saying yes to someone just to shut them up
– Just ordering a salad when you’re starving

Lots of love,
Wilhelm Scream.

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