Cuddle buddy required. Must give good hugs.

Dear all,

I went to the theatre tonight. Although the play wasn’t very good, it was a good lesson in playwrighting.

My creepy teacher is making everyone go to their house for a revision session – it seems I am the only one to get out of it. I am grateful I have such understanding parents. I also think that my teacher trusts me to get on with my own revision and to do it well.

My jealousy is still bubbling away. I am trying out being unavailable in the hope that it will lead him to sort of miss talking to me and to make contact, perhaps even suggest that we meet up. But you know, I’m not totally de mauvaise foi. He never seems to want to see me – I suggest something and he never sounds excited or makes an attempt to follow it up. And, as we have seen, he has rescheduled (i.e. postponed, i.e. postponed indefinitely, i.e. cancelled) more than once.

Also, I need a cuddle buddy – see number fifteen. The best thing about a guy I sort-of dated early last year (despite the fact that we had little in common and it fizzled out after a month or two) was having someone put their arm around me while watching a film – little things like that. Not overtly sexual, but just to be held. I was in a play once with someone who gave the best hugs. I wish I could hug him now, just bury my face in his chest and stay there for hours. I just feel so physically alone. I never used to like physical displays of affection, like hugs – I was never very touchy feely. But I forced myself to learn to enjoy hugging people hello and goodbye and now I can’t get enough of it. Brian would be an excellent cuddle buddy. He’d be perfect for watching DVDs on the sofa with. But he never contacts me either. I wish I were prettier.

Lots of love,
Wilhelm Scream.

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